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The Length Of A Relationship Doesn’t Indicate That It’s Successful. Here’s Why.

The Length Of A Relationship Doesn’t Indicate That It’s Successful. Here’s Why.

The story The Length Of A Relationship Doesn’t Indicate That It’s Successful. Here’s Why. appeared first on StoryPick.

”It’s so great to see them together after all these years. Not many couples can last that long. They are definitely something special.”

While attending a 10 year anniversary of my close friend, this is what I got to hear. People everywhere were passing blissful comments like these and all I could think about was the incidents that unfolded the night before – my friend crying over the fact that her boyfriend had been ill-treating her for the past 4 years. The bruises, the incessant crying, her sobs, her frail voice, was all that I could remember and contemplate. According to her, he was ”continuously plotting to undermine her happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason she couldn’t comprehend.”

And that got me thinking that people take the length of  a relationship to be a determinant of a successful relationshp. And I’ll tell you all the reasons.

But first let’s start with the definition of a successful relationship.

If you google successful relationships, you’ll get a plethora of results that’ll instruct you to do this and that. They even have a whole guide claiming  in clear words that if you follow the above rules, your relationship is most likely to be deemed successful.

According to me, a successful relationship is when it changes the person for good, irrespective of the duration. 

Here are some of the reasons people cling onto the idea of  why ‘length of a relationship assures the quality.’

1. Because they have a paralyzing fear of being alone.

I know many people who fall under this category. They’ll swoon from the grief and pain inflicted by their partner in a hope that someday, their partner would change and hence, they’ll have a relationship full of sunshine and rainbows. These actions may also stem from the fact that they fear being alone.

Other people might console them saying that yes, every relationship requires insurmountable patience, but believe me, that doesn’t lead to the road of a successful relationship.


2. The adage “Quality matters, not quantity” stands true here.

One of my seniors in college had a relationship that lasted just a month and it intoxicated him with an unimagined happiness. He felt really good being in a relationship until they broke up. Of course, that left him devastated, but he was a changed man – more responsible, more serious towards life than he was before. More than that, he had understood what true love actually meant.

The point being, half a century long relationship might not teach you stuff as a summer fling. Hence, focus on the quality.


3. A feeling of Fuck Yes or Fuck No

“She said she’s not interested in a relationship, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?” Most dating counselors are there to resolve this issue. Advice like – Say this line. Text her this. Call her this many times. Wear that.

Follow the path of asking yourself a question and see to it that it answers ‘Fuck yes’ or ‘Fuck No’. Want to date that woman you met last weekend but she keeps ignoring your repeated texts and calls? And you’re confused what to say or do, especially since she seemed so happy to go out with you when you initially met her. Well, my friend, this is obviously not a ”Fuck Yes.” Therefore, it is a ”No.”

Delete her number and move on.

Reading these, you might be thinking how to deem a relationship successful?


1. Are you a changed person?

Do they encourage you to be a better person? To succeed?

After their arrival in your life, do you feel the sense of completeness? If you are in a successful relationship, you most certainly do. You’ll feel like your partner is a constant pillar of support and your cheerleader, come what may! You’ll feel like to be the best version of yourself as a human being, just for them. And last but not the least, your partner will always see you in a good light.

If they do the aforementioned, you’re in a successful relationship, irrespective of the duration you have been together.


2. Even after X years/months, do you still see him/her in the future plans? Is she the one?

If you can’t stop imagining the future life with your partner, be sure that they are the one. If you see yourself unconsciously including them in your future plans, they are the one. If you realize how happy you are with each other even after X years, they are the one.

Whether it was a long chapter or just a small footnote, it barely makes a difference. Because, romance is twisted. A few seconds can feel like an eternity while an entire weekend can disappear without any sense of what happened. So, choose carefully!

Okay, now excuse me because I have to call up my boyfriend and tell him that I could get late for my date! 😀

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