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Modern Monster Mash – Key of Awesome #91

Modern Monster Mash – Key of Awesome #91

There’s a big difference between kooky monsters and psychotic killers.
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Written by Mark Douglas

Cast:
Boris- Mark Douglas
Band:
Bass-Courtney Ortiz
Drums-Tenealle Farragher
Keyboard-Marisa Hunter

Hannibal Lecter- Michael Birch
Hannibal’s date- Paige Grimard
Jigsaw puppeteer- Matt Giudice
Guy in bear trap- Ryan Russell
Leatherface- Todd Womack
Waiter- Monroe Robertson
Freddy Krueger- Steven Conroy
Cheerleader- Brittany Nicholas
Wolfman- Derek DeAngelis
Michael Meyers- Justin Brown
Jason Voorhees- Bryan Olsen
Samara (Ring Girl)- Kristin Taylor
Human Centipede:
Andy Zou
Katie Hartman
Beth Hoyt

Party Guests:
Greg Murtha
Joey Ortalani
Katina Corrao
Noah Gouldsmith
Viet Vo

Music Produced by Deep V Music http://www.deepvmusic.com

Female Vocals- Tatiana Owens

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LYRICS:
You remember in the 60’s when I invented the mash
Well now the time is come for me to update that smash
Since I’ve been out of the fright game for 52 Odd years
I invited a new crew to spread spooky cheer
The first to arrive was Dr. Hannibal Lecter
He brought his own date, and seemed to respect her.
They hit the dance floor, with a Jive and a jitter
Then he ripped off her face! He’s pulling out her liver

BACK UP SINGERS
That’s really gross

BORIS
Oh my god what just happened?

BACK UP SINGERS
He ate her face

BORIS
Yes I know! I saw!!

BACK UP SINGERS
Speaking of SAW

cut to:
Jigsaw next to a guy with a bear trap contraption on his head

JIGSAW
I like to play disgusting games

Sound of the bear trap snapping

BACK UP SINGERS
He broke his jaw.

BORIS
That is way too graphic. I’m going to faint
Surely all the other guests won’t be this rude
Like this classic monster, a scary hip dude
He’s got a kooky style and a spooktastic look
Oh my god he just hung the waiter on a meat hook!!! Why?

BACK UP SINGERS
He’s Leatherface

BORIS
He’s cutting him up with a chainsaw.

BACK UP SINGERS
It’s what he does

BORIS
Who’s Freddy Krueger

BACK UP SINGERS
He haunts your dreams

BORIS
Oooh he sounds like a real spooker!

FREDDY
I murder teens.
You can’t escape me, b*tch!

BORIS
Language!
In my day the monsters would just gave you a spook.
Nowadays, it seems they all just want to make you puke
(looking at the guestlist)
Ah the Human Centepede, that sounds like a hit
Wait, the ones in the back have to eat the front ones shit?!
Enough, the party’s over! Everybody out!
You all have no idea what “Spooktober” is about.
Here comes the Wolfman. he’ll show its done
He knows how to be creepy, but he always keeps it fun.

BORIS
Nooo! That was my friend.
Why did he meet such a horrifying end?

Is it too much to ask to have some monsters dance
It’s really quite a hoot if you’d give it half a chance

JIGSAW
This guy won’t let it go. I think it’s rather sad

FREDDY
Guys, I feel guilty

LECTER
And I also feel bad

LEATHERFACE
Let’s give him a couple moves, it’s the least we could do.

JIGSAW
Okay places everybody…and a one and a two.

MONSTERS
Look at us dance

BORIS
You did the monster dance?

LEATHERFACE
Hey look, jazz hands

BORIS
Wait, don’t twist too fast

VICTIMS
Our skulls are smashed

Samara from The Ring enters

LEATHERFACE
Oh great, it’s the girl from the ring

BACK UP SINGERS
Her heart is black

BORIS
She really knows how to swing

FREDDY
I wouldn’t look directly at her face if I were you.

The girl from the ring sucks out Boris’s soul.

LEATHERFACE
Oh well, we tried.

FREDDIE
He died doing what he loved.

JIGSAW
Monster choreography…I know a game we could play.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

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